the i who insists

Are you  my gut instinct? Holy crap you're ugly, no wonder I was trying to ignore you and escape you at the same time. You look sharp and... poorly drawn. Yuck. But even more, you look like that pinch that precedes some awful, shapeless, familiar monster that uses my more careless words against me, some of my more indulgent visions become greedy and reckless. There are usually ashes in the afteward, and endless "sorry"'s, and more questions than I have time to answer. And you already know all this and so do I, and when you look me in the eyes, that is what you are telling me-- and you win if I so much as think: "I am powerless to stop this."