11.17.2011

frozen stream of consciousness

would apologize if words were worth their weight in tears these days, but if the problem is a language barrier, i hardly see what demon my humility would appease.if your ignorance still trumps your genuinity than your words are empty vessels. i want to apologize, i don’t know what that means. i want to forgive, i forgot what that looks like. i want to feel pain without causing pain. but that was never the case in the first place, at least not for me.

maybe you can hurt without bleeding the rest of the world dry, maybe that’s how my privilege sets me apart. maybe the difference is that i can talk and talk, but it’s not about my heart. maybe every thought i give to me is a thought i can’t spare for someone else. and maybe that’s only important if you get more than you deserve from the very start.

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