the jasonian

The Jasonian tends to be whatever you want him to be, so obviously he is different things at different times to different people. Once, for example, he was a humanoid ink blot with an insatiable fetish for dirty Rorschach test cards, but those poor doomed bastard sex dolls were the projections of a projection, and so naturally they became unstable and unhinged at an alarming rate. And the worst part was that with all the shadows of shadows of fake people and false memories spreading like lice not one of the "real people" could figure out who or what to blame for the Jasonian into the weird ink blot puppet master beast in the first place. Who wanted the Jasonian to be that thing instead of the quadrillion other things Jasonian could possibly be?
     Granted, the Jasonian had once been a beautiful bird that Ida had willed into being (after a gross misunderstanding of a casual encounter of the word 'albatross') to visit bird feeder outside her terminally ill brother's window while she was at school all day. Although after he unexpected made a full recovery against all odds, the bird continue to follow Ida's brother closely until he died sixty-two years later, effectively rendering him unemployable, unmarriable, and generally a bit lonely as a result of the bird's constant presence, despite never fully achieving solitude.
    People liked to muse about whether the sometimes woeful results of the various manifestations of the Jasonian were the result of logical and predictable literalism alongside tragic bouts of ignorance; or perhaps simply ill will somewhere in the hearts of the people shaping the Jasonian; or maybe the Jasonian was not neutral or benign at all. Maybe he was just a little biased toward human misery. After all, human happiness does tend to be an awfully specific and limited set of circumstances. All that can be said for sure about that is if you ask the Jasonian what the case may be, he will tell you whatever you want to hear. Maybe he doesn't know.
    Of course, something bad doesn't happen every time someone trips over the Jasonian, but, it happens often enough that people tend to avoid him if at all possible and talk quietly about whose were unwilling or unable to avoid him.